If I were to submit something to that site, which would I choose?
*the day it "snowed" IN my kitchen
*the day they made their sick mommy some "soup" ON the kitchen floor from every condiment in the fridge AND the dish soap AND perhaps a hundred gallons of hot water shot from the sink to the floor
*the day the kid(s) ruined the microwave (and which time, and which microwave, and which kid? - there are SO many ruined microwave stories to choose from)
*or the day my child cut his/her own hair, or his/her brother's/sister's hair (again, multiply stories to choose from, the best are probably the ones right before we were supposed to get portraits taken)
*the day I caught 2 of mine and 1 of the neighbor's (thank thee again Lord that I caught them BEFORE they started a wildfire) using a magnifying glass and old binocular lenses to direct sunlight at the popcorn kernels they'd placed on a flat rock in the middle of all the dry overgrown weeds
*the day my sweet angel girl, at the age of 3, had a complete breakdown and was sobbing because the curls on one side of her head were not doing what she wanted them to and she could only be consoled by a phone call to her aunt who understood her and loved her, so unlike her mean mommy who was not as sympathetic about the crisis non-behaving curls can cause (and I had also seen what this sweet angel girl had done to the bathroom and all the hair do-dads and some containers of soap and shampoo)
*the day my toddler "tossed" a toy into the toy box (under the window) but his aim was too high - and he had (still has) quite an arm!
*the day another toddler (who was fascinated at the time with plunking objects into bodies of water) gleefully grabbed the nearly full container of Desitin (the real stuff - not an off brand) and ran happily from me and tossed it from the bridge into the creek at Camp Nauvoo, and I, not about to lose/waste a nearly full container of the real stuff, attempted to stand (fully dressed including jacket and shoes - this was October) on a raft and hold onto the bridge and use a long stick to somehow guide the Desitin to a more shallow area, but instead ended up dropping the stick when I grabbed the bridge with both hands when the raft pulled downstream away from me, and I was suspended between raft and bridge for a moment before ... splash. (this story is an example of my extreme thriftiness, my amazing ability to make a fool of myself, and I guess demonstrates why my older children run and hide and don't want anyone to know they're related to me when I try stunts like this)
*the evening child #1 and child #2 scare me to death by spontaneously starting a game of chase around the car in the grocery store parking lot, and they tripped and slammed into a neighboring parked car and child #2's arm was possibly broken (would make the 3rd arm injury for that child in as many years) and we went to the ER (all the groceries still in the car) and while waiting forever, child #3 pokes her finger into a hollow pipe of thick strong metal on the gurney her brother is "resting" on and it gets STUCK, and I, and 3 of the ER staff, devote a ton of time attempting to keep her calm and attempting to free her finger from the metal pipe using every slick, slippery substance they could find, while child #1 "entertains" the infant child #4, and the injured and HURTING child #2 is ignored for awhile. Finger was finally freed and without the use of a saw. Finally found out child #2's elbow was not broken but sprained and he'd be in a sling for the 3rd spring in a row. The baby finally did get fed and the other children eventually got a very late dinner. It was a pretty cool night and not all the perishables waiting in the car had to be thrown out.
*the day my preschooler was mad at his big brother and he "blew out the power for the whole world." Jacob, as mentioned many times before, is very intelligent and loves to learn and remembers tons of information but his mind and body are always rushing full speed ahead. Well Jacob knew about electricity and that a circuit has to "make a loop" and that you could get shocked and hurt real bad by electricity, so don't play around with it - even his own little set unless someone big was with him. So one evening, before sunset, on a perfectly calm day with no storm, ALL the lights suddenly went out AND the DVD and computer and microwave and everything quit, and Jacob comes running at light speed down the hall and clings to me sobbing, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," over and over and over. I'd FINALLY get him to calm down enough to get a little of the story and then he'd panic again and cling to me and bury his face again shaking and sobbing that he was sorry and he didn't mean to. This repeated for awhile. He had opened a foil candy wrapper up flat and pushed the plug part of a nightlight through it and had started to plug it in and zapped himself badly (and blew the fuses). One of the things he panickly sobbed was, "did I blow up all the lights? for the whole world?" he'd seen the neighbor's house all dark through the window (they just happened to have the lights off on the end facing us) and all our power off too. I was trying to pull Jacob off me so I could make sure he was okay and so I could figure out what had happened and so I could hear him and so he'd listen to me. We were trying to piece together what happened and we got the part about the candy wrapper and the nightlight and I was telling him how dangerous that was and he was sobbing that he knew and he was SORRY, and then we heard him say, "I was only trying to get Nathan!" Here he was, scared to pieces about "blowing up the power for the world" and about getting hurt himself and really truly repentant about his stupid stunt, but not repentant what-so-ever about having set it up for Nathan! Jacob thought if Nathan had gotten the bad shock but none of the power had been messed with, it would have been just fine - nothing at all to be scared or feel bad about. Jacob and Nathan had to figure out how to be friends again and share a room WITHOUT setting up deadly booby traps for each other AND Jacob had to "pay" for ALL the electronic things in our house that he "broke." Dad fixed the fuses right away but Jacob was doing extra jobs for me for a long time - I'd taken Jacob around the house and we counted EVERY light bulb and EVERY item that plugged in and "was broken now" (I think there were 40 something) and Jacob had to do that many jobs to "pay" for "fixing" them.
